Final Score: Cesspool 45 Quagmire 18

Editor's Note: Although I am the Poobah's Conscience, I can speak freely. Keep in mind that this was written at 10:35 P.M. on Thanksgiving night, 2002. Poobah was extremely achy and in need of serious medical attention. So no hard feelings on the truth fellas.

For what looked to start out like a banner ToiletBowl for the 30th annual game, ended up in a route but not for the lack of suspicious circumstances. For one, Chuck McGlasson assuring Poobah that he is not stacking the team in his favor with the addition of "Someone who I refuse to give the grace of naming him on this site"...ended up pulling the wool over Poobah's eyes. This guy could throw 40 yd bombs off his back foot. Plus, he picked apart my nephews....who are all under 16 years of age. Good job Chuck. You have taken the TB into a new era....the same one that brought down CYP.

Want a game recap? You try keeping up with who scored 44 points and how it happened...All I saw was a blur to me. The TB is supposed to be about scoring the least...like a golf match. Somehow, you guys on Cesspool didn't get the memo or something, or maybe you are overcompensating for lost high school years...I don't know. But the last time I took a butt-whipping like that was in the bathrooms at Wooddale High School. If any of you would like to contribute your version of the game please feel free and let us all laugh at your writing skills.

On to the game...To say the least, the problem with the Basins is in-fighting. Everybody wants to be the leader and everybody wants to catch every pass. The only problem is that Cesspool rushes 5 and doesn't care who they guard...they are in the QB's face. QB, another problem area for the Basins. Note that this game is based upon non-athletes...and not ringers. So the Plungers definitely threw one by Poobah and snuck in "Mr. No-Name" at QB. Not again my friends.

Another thing Poobah has to contend with is constant...and I mean constant complaining over the rules. Man, if you haven't checked lately....nobody cares about this game except us. The rules are up and they don't change. You have all been invited to a game for insignificant people, who don't play professionally (at least some of us don't), and you expect me to run a tight ship? Brother-man, I'm like UNICEF;
I don't get paid for this, so this is just as organized as any homeless shelter...don't believe me? Ask Castle.

I couldn't keep up with who scored for Cesspool, but it was constant. Quagmire had no defense that could stop them. I'm not going to feed anyone's ego and make it sound like one guy ruled the day. The reality of it is that these teams were meticulously balanced years ago based on height, weight, speed, strength, and most importantly, who hated each other the most. That's why you saw matchups like Scott Brown vs. Chuck Neal, and David Shelby vs. Poobah himself (Shelby, I don't hate you). Although Cesspool didn't win all of the games in the last few years, you didn't see blow-outs like we had this year.

What I am saying is that by bringing in ringers, we have upset the balance of the game. It has NEVER been about being the best. And it was a shame to see it end that way last year. And please save it , "Mr. Un-named MVP from 2001", when you say that the only reason he QB'ed was because we talked trash and it angered him. I'm sorry dude, we ALWAYS talk trash in the ToiletBowl. Does this now mean that because we have a ringer on Cesspool, that Quagmire has to get one. Nope. Absolutely not. Poobah has plans, but it doesn't require any additional beef...Poobah has plenty of beef on his own.

Back to the game; It was hopeless, and that is the general attitude in the huddle for the Basins. You guys might laugh at this, but it's supposed to be fun for both sides...today, was not fun...well, Poobah scored three td's, and had a monster defensive play, but who's keeping records here?

It was good to see the Shelby Brothers as co-MVP's this year. They both played exeptionally well, not dropping a SINGLE pass, and playing stellar defense. Isn't it odd, that Richie and I were always the ones they assumed fought, but to save Thanksgiving for the Shelby's, they BOTH had to get the award? Anyway, they both deserved it...IF WE DIDN'T LOSE!!!! It was mine Tricks!

It was a fun year, and I had more fun losing than I recall, but losing sucks. It was good to see all of you guys this year. I don't really get to see Wilbanks, or Finley and Billy Davie ever, and it was good that they were out...I would have much rather had Finley to contend with at QB..believe me. Plus, it would be 100 times more honorable to lose to former Poobah Finley.....what? Honor? In the ToiletBowl?

My body hates me for playing in this game. Already, I am covered in heating pads, ice bags, and a bottle of Advil...I have taken too many, and hoping that by osmosis, the ooey gooey goodness of the medicine will seep through my skin. Obviously the Icey Hot has seeped through and is impairing my judgement. I just said "Ooey gooey".

Thanks to all of you for a great year, I'll make my standard apology for yelling at all of you. But you have to understand..I don't do this professionally, so it's not going to be perfect. Get off my back about the rules already! Special thanks to Billy Willard for refereeing this year. He didn't take a single snap, or jump in on a play....but was there til the end. I hate to admit it, but missing my bro's Scott and Billy really caused us to lose this bad. Their presence is really not appreciated until they are not there. Chad, Tank, and Richie...I love you....thanks for playing the most unappreciated position on the line...my rookie nephews...don't worry, all these grown men get old eventually...then the fun begins for you.

Until next year, may God bless you and your families, have a Merry Christmas, asalomalakem my brothas, peace out....later.

Poobah