The Rain Man Cometh!
After Years of Drought, the ToiletBowl Finally Gets a Quencher!!!!
Basins Upset the Plungers!

Final Score: Quagmire 13, Cesspool 12

Every year we pray for rain...at least I do. In a game that has quickly progressed into "who's got the better athlete", rain is the great equalizer. You see, you can take the fastest man on the planet who can throw so goofy-footed he'd put Tony Hawk to shame...but in the rain, it don't matter. All you can do it hang on and hope that someone makes a huge play. We got our wish.

The forecast called for rain and thunderstorms early, but no one counted on the torrential downpour between 1:30 and 3 am that left over an inch of standing water on the field. When I went out there to set up, I knew this day would be special...indeed it was.The game started off with everyone tip-toeing around, trying not to get wet. Why do guys do this? It just invites disaster? The first half of the game went buy with neither team making any progress. In all honesty, Quagmire moved the ball better and even got on the goal line, but the Plunger "D" and Quagmire inconsistency cost us to turn the ball over on downs on the 1 foot line. In one play, Poobah himself caught a 10 yard pass to score, but was denied when referree Bill Willard spotted that Poobah's foot was out of bounds...DENIED! At halftime, Quagmire 0, Cesspool 0.The second half started out much like the first, but with a little monkey wrench thrown in. Mack King had to leave early which left Cesspool with right at 11 players. To be fair, I threw in Jeff Hill's cousin to give them 12, so they can rotate in and out. What Cesspool got was a speed demon they didn't need. Although speed didn't really matter due to the rain, it mattered on the big plays, and big plays was how Cesspool scored.I try my best to equalize the teams and make sure no one is heavily favored. This game was EVEN until then. Once they picked up the speed that opened up some things for the Plungers and they began to move the ball.With 8 minutes gone in the 3rd quarter, Cesspool stikes first on a 20yd out to Billy Likes. Likes was left ungaurded and the Plungers spotted this weakness. Extra point attempt failed. The score Quagmire 0, Cesspool 6. It didn't take long for Quagmire to rebound, but as soon as they did, they just couldn't get the ball past the 50. Interceptions and fumbles cost the Basins big gains all day on key plays.

the Basins had a couple of interceptions to stop the Plunger advance, but couldn't get it done on Offense. Although we had several key stops and tackles by Scott Willard, and many interceptions by Scott Lee, the Basins couldn't put points on the board. Deep in the third quarter, Cesspool strikes once again catching Jeff Hill's cousin (forgive Poobah, he can't remember his name) out of the backfield, made a couple of cuts and was gone. Extra point attempt failed. Quamgire 0, Cesspool 12.

4th Quarter and now gut check time for the Basins. Would it be 2 years in a row for a Cesspool route of Quagmire? I think not, and neither did my teammates. As Quagmire began the comeback, it became obvious to Poobah what his part in this game is: decoy. I am the guy they send down field to pull 2-3 guys off the middle of the field..opening up short passes for guys like Jeff Hill. By the way, the Basins began with Jeff Hill and had many successes, but Jeff was injured during the 3rd quarter and we moved Scott Green to the QB spot. Since Poobah is the decoy, Jeff and others run underneath him and catch the ball. As a matter of fact, GIVE US SIX!!! Scott Green to Jeff Hill on a 5 yard five and in. Extra point failed. Quagmire 6, Cesspool 12.

At this point in the game, we had 10 minutes left and hopes were down. All the Plungers had to do was milk the clock and they would have held us. Instead they kept going to long bombs to put us away. Killer defense and rushing from the Basin Big Three (Chad Deaton, Tank, and Mike McGlasson) kept the rambling wreck of the Plunger backfield in check the ENTIRE GAME!And here, they didn't disappoint. With serious pressure coming at him, the Plunger QB David Castle can't get it done and the Plungers turn it over on downs.Now we have 2:16 left in the game. Quagmire is bogged down and realizes that their star player is out. They call me in to my typical fly route and we move the ball. In fact, we move all the way on huge plays. David Shelby got FACED many, many times despite running his mouth at Poobah, allowing the Basins to go one more time to the endzone. GIVE HIM SIX!!! Extra point attempt...Assistant Coach Swill calls the play from the sideline and tells us that Cody is going to line up by the sideline and say "I'm dropping out". While his man drops off Scott Willard steps to the sideline. The key is to catch the defense off guard long enough to sneak a pass in. In all the screwball, hairbrain ideas we have had, this one was the worst...and it worked! With 1 minute left in the game, Scott Willard catches the pass just missing a diving David Castle. Quagmire takes the lead 13-12.

Cesspool knows time is running out and that losing to Quagmire is like kissing your sister, except your not in Arkansas so it's not ok. The Plungers scheme is simple, pick on a tired Poobah. The first play out had QB Rob Shropshire passing the ball to David Castle, completing a 20 yard out making it first down. The Plungers continued moving the ball. 6 seconds left. The QB calls it, and everything goes silent...everyone is hoping to not get burned...still quiet....the ball goes up...I'm holding Castle more flagrantly than should be allowed and he's out...the pass is to Billy Likes...2 seconds...Scott Lee breaks up the pass and should end their chances.....but there's one second left. I can't tell you who it was to, I was bent on keeping it from my man...all I know is that the ball falls in mid-field, overshooting their man...BASINS WIN, BASINS WIN!!!!!

I know I missed out on a lot of key plays and players but I'm trying to recap. So I apologize. I will say that our lineman and blockers performed remarkably and kept the Basins in the game. We had a solid defense and a good offense....best of all; David Shelby is smited and that's all I ask.Post game wrap-up: Ken "Swill" Wilbanks is awarded a TB Lifetime Achievement award for his dedicated service to the game. In a unanymous decision, Scott Willard FINALLY gets his wish and is awarded the 2003 ToiletBowl MVP for key plays and treachery. I believe that many Plungers now consider him the dirtiest player in the game. For the 2003 Toilet Talk MVP awarded to the player who exemplified trash talk at its finest, it went to the wire. Between Chuck Neal and his flyers galore of Brian Shelby and Richie Willard and his mucho-smack talking self including his "floetry" on the site..the winner? RICHIE WILLARD is the 2003 Toilet Talk MVP! Thanks to all of you who came out and played and pitched in. Special thanks to Bill Willard, Jr. for coming out and taking a lot of guf and reffing for us. And thanks to Bill Willard, Sr. for standing in the line of fire and really getting some good camera shots. My dad almost got too close one play and we shold have an awesome shot coming soon!Until next year,
Poobah Rob Feature