The 32nd annual ToiletBowl got off to a frigid and wet start at Herman J. Cox Field in Collierville, Tn. Both teams represented well and we had an awesome fan turnout.

The only sad note came at around 5 minutes into the game when Poobah made a diving attempt at a pass and inured his ribs...forcing him to leave the game. So for all of his hard work at setting up the game, Poobah got the Shelby effect and set a new ToiletBowl record for leaving the game early. That record was previously held by Brian Shelby in the '99 game at Briarcrest.

The Basins won the toss and chose to score first, which they did but not without early trials and tribulations. On a 3rd and long conversion, Quagmire scored early on a 65 yard scamper by newcomer Trip Young, aka, Le'Roy. Quagmire failed on the extra point attempt. The score: Quagmire 6 Cesspool 0.

After several defensive stands, the Plungers didn't score a touchdown but did record a safety on a questionable call. I can say that, because I was the ref at this point. Jeff Hill was the QB for Quagmire and his flag fell off in the end zone. Like most Cesspool Plungers, they react to visible signs like "Buffet Open", so it's no wonder they started screaming he was down. The rules state that if a player has no flag (in this case it fell off) the ref must spot a touch "two hands below the waist". Which did not happen. Jeff Hill stops running because of the clamoring and then was touched. I had no choice but to reward the safety. That's my story, I'm sticking to it. The score Quagmire 6, Cesspool 2.

After the half Cesspool adopted a running game to counter the stiff Basin pass defense. The running attack served them well. Again, it's hard to keep up with who scored so if any of you can remember please let Poobah know. Otherwise, it goes down in the ToiletBowl archives. Plus, Poobah is injured and sick as a dog at this point. I believe it was Rob Shrop Shire who was the QB for the Plungers and ran many sneaks to the left to gain much yardage and a badly needed TD.Cesspool failed the point after attempt making the score Quagmire 6, Cesspool 8.

Quagmire answered a few plays later on a 20 yard pass to Richie "Big Momma" Willard. Richie's touchdown dance involved a prop which was a baby doll which he carried and sang to with motherly-like care. It was an attempt to further his drive for the Trash Talk MVP award, which he later one. The point after failed, making the score Quagmire 12, Cesspool 8.

I believe that's how we went into halftime. If not you can sue me for false reporting, but I don't think any of you have the money to pay a lawyer, so I'm safe.

Halftime entertainment was brought to us by Stuckey's. The fine manufacturer of pecan logs and pecan related products. Reuben Studdard came out and sang a fine, but brief, rendition of "God Bless America". It brought tears to many eyes.

Anyway, After the half Cesspool adopted a running game to counter the stiff Basin pass defense. The running attack served them well. Again, it's hard to keep up with who scored so if any of you can remember please let Poobah know. Otherwise, it goes down in the ToiletBowl archives. Plus, Poobah is injured and sick as a dog at this point. I believe it was Rob Shrop Shire who was the QB for the Plungers and ran many sneaks to the left to gain much yardage and a badly needed TD.Cesspool failed the point after attempt making the score Quagmire 12, Cesspool 14.

Cesspool turned up the heat making completion after completion and turned the tide of the game. Starting with a 50 yard bomb to Billy Likes for another Cesspool TB and this time FINALLY converted on the extra point attempt by passing, making the score Quagmire 12, Cesspool 21..

Quagmire's defense began to stumble under the relentless running attack of the Plungers. ToiletBowl philosophy has taught us that over the years, the running game was useless. Cesspool put that one to rest by spreading out the defense, having their receivers run to one side, then the QB would take off and gain huge yardage.

You could see the face of Quagmire change and the momentum shift firmly into the hands of the Plungers. Cesspool's running game saved the day and put the game away with yet another score and this time converted the extra point by running. The score Quagmire 12, Cesspool 29.

With about 10 minutes to go in the game, the heroes for Quagmire started to emerge. The mighty Basins marched down the field with their backs against the wall. Turning botched plays into huge yardage, the Basins were on the 26 yard line when Scott Willard caught a short pass and scampered into the end zone. Again, the Basins failed the point after, making the score Quagmire 20, Cesspool 29.

As time wound down, the ball switched hands many times but to no avail for the mighty Basins of Quagmire. Cesspool put the 2004 game out of reach, with the final score being Quagmire 20, Cesspool 29.

Since the Plungers were victorious, they chose this year's MVP which went to TB veteran Billy Davie, the UberMan. For the second year in a row, the Trash Talk MVP went to Richie "Big Momma" Willard for his unrelenting assault on the trash talk boards and his in-game and pre-game props. Congratulations to our winners as Stuckey's will no doubtedly will award you with a year's supply of Pecan Logs.

On a sad note, we at TBHQ are sorry to announce that hooligans kidnapped Queen Hazel at halftime. With all the excitement of Reuben Studdard, we completely missed the abduction. She was found after the halftime spectacle at mid-field, punctured beyond repair. Queen Hazel will be sorely missed. She leaves behind Poobah. She was 10 (in blow-up doll years that's like 30).

Everyone was utterly shocked at this development and didn't see it as appropriate to elect a new queen. In memoriam, she is the 2004 ToiletBowl Queen.

I hope you guys had a great time and have a great year! Look for a Toiletbowl basketball or football game later on this year.

Until I school you again,

Landon "Poobah" Willard
1996 ToiletBowl MVP