Wow! It is truly amazing what nonsense flows out of the mouths of idiots.

Scot Finley, your ego is much deserved after all you have done for this insignificant game, however, its kind of like winning a race at the Special Olympics, even if you’re in first place… you’re still retarded. You will be best remembered, for being nothing, which kinda defeats the purpose of being remembered.

Wes Blanton, after reading your uneducated mind-numbing ramblings, I wasted four minutes of my life, which could have been better served doing anything else. Go back to the double wide from whence you came & put your shirt back on. This site is accessible to kids, for crying out loud. Although the picture of yourself you posted did remind me to go TiVo Cops: Season 3… You made me think of a new reality show, “Trailer Park Tales –Life as White Trash.”

Swill, in your head, did all your gibberish make sense? Because although it was quite humorous, it sounded like Scott Willard’s autobiography, but if he was to write a book, it would be ironic, because it would be one more than he has read in his life.

Jeff Hill, I looked at the video of last year’s game, and the only time you showed up on the video was to accept your wife’s trophy… Hmmm, ya know it really is sad that she wouldn’t let you come out and play. Maybe she can play this year, and beat you for the Athletic Prowess award too! And by the way, if you and Kim ever get divorced… would you still remain brother and sister? Not sure of the law on that one… Don’t be jealous of my truly amazing facial fur, you are understandably angry because I grow more hair on my back than you do on your chin. And yes, I know what excellence looks like; I see it in the mirror every morning!

Dustin Keith, tall, ugly, and… I wish I had another adjective that properly describes you… hmmm, maybe… doughy? You are much like a totem pole; yoursole purpose is for people to look at and go “WOW I wonder what that’s all about?" But nobody in fact knows why you exist or what your purpose is. Every time that I’ve ever seen you, you’ve been shoulder deep in Richie’s tailpipe. You are insignificant in all that you do.

Cody, young Cody, you are truly remarkable to watch; speed, finesse, raw athletic talent, you have them all, but what you lack is the ability to understand that you are a Willard; therefore you are pre-destined to be fat, slow & utterly useless. Enjoy your youth before your family name catches up with you. You are just a few short years from being Lanny, but without the glorious locks of gold.

Richie, I really didn’t want to have to bring you into this year’s Trash Talk, but how could we appropriately celebrate Thanksgiving without giving thanks for your insignificance. Because of your ineptitude, we can all be a little more thankful every year that we are not you! And just curious, where did “Big Momma” come from? I guess “Big Daddy” would be false advertising, seeing how you are neither big nor masculine. If you take used Play-doh out of the container and plop it down the table that could best describe your shape. But then again, Play-doh is WAY more useful that you are.

Josh, I really didn’t want to go on and on trashing you, but after hearing of your cute new nickname, I couldn’t help but think… “Silly Wabbit, MVPs are for winners!” You suck at life, get used to it.

Scott Lee, continue to be worthless in the Toilet Bowl and lets all hope that you will start a trend, so we can all show up and do nothing, but still get “Poobah points”.

Poobah, I will leave you alone in this edition of Trash Talk, because after seeing you in your sad existence of a life, I thought to myself, “Does he really need to be told that he is a loser?” What good would stating the obvious do?

Later, chumps!

Bendall

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Aside from the Poobah comments (which are outright lies. I'm pretty awesome) I'd have to say that this is a well-rounded post. You attacked everyone, old and new...even Poobah the First. This is proof that Jerry's Kids can grow up and be successful. Just like your on-field antics, your trash talk post was good at HOLDING......my attention. And yes, Tank does need to learn to spell check. It's embarrassing.

tOk, who ever Wes "Bentley" Blanton is, you are on the list. I don't know or remember you so you must not be very important or significant anyway. I am sure you have never watched by definition a great film but here is why you are know known as Bentley( Wes Bentley is the schmuck who filmed the paper bag scene in American Beauty)...this is how I will remember you once I smell you on the gridiron. Calling Poobah a Kevin Bacon look a like will not win you any accolades with him since that one has been done many times before. your trash talking skills are horrible...all you can say is what everyone knows already. Tank can't spell or use complete sentences, well WHOOPIDY DOOO!!! And you coming at me with I can do something worthy in the game....please, spare me the fake compliments like telling everyone I'm the sole complainer in this game. I could care less how I spell in this forum Mr. Wizard. This isn't grammar school, stop lecturing everyone about grammar mistakes pony boy, you are worthless in a meaningless game...how does that make you feel?

Swill, like checking on the village will do anything but make us even prouder than before....what's wrong with Wooddale you Barney fife look a like, no talent smudge on the bottom of Brian Shelby's high tops. Class dismissed..... the homeless wouldn't take that class if you were serving steak and lobster. Either way, your 5 MVP's are in your dreams and our nightmares for constantly hearing about them.

Chody...are you kidding me? I can run circles around you and all your "College" buds and you know it. You secretly live in fear that you will be exposed as a fake, wannabe athlete. I have seen the pictures of you playing flag football. You need the practice. I on the other hand just show up and dominate. I am sure you just added me because you had nothing better to do and that's fine...just trying to be a good guy here and add my friends lame nephews. The picture of me and my wife(which you will never have since you still masquerade with freak baby Elvis in Graceland in your spare time... which you apparently have a ton of) is in San Francisco and you didn't even make it look bad. What a tool...."Look dad, I photo shopped a picture of that awesome football player and his wife. I made their heads big and I put a chef's apron on him...he he he". At least I don't have quotes on my facebook page about my own friends...it's supposed to be from a FAMOUS person "COLLEGE" man. The "only " reason you have the job you are in anyway is because of who you know...not what you know....man I hate the privileged you uppity, snooty, fake little wannabe rapper. I would have eyes behind my back if I were you come Turkey day...you CAN"T outrun me son.

Hey look it's the Eddie Munster/gypsy Elvis with lackey.   He said "this kid knew so much about elvis. He was devoted. and amazing".

Look at me, I may be a rich punk, but i still have black friends.  I can represent tha hood.

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Haha! This one made Poobah laugh...Facebook is a heckuva thing. I can't really laugh at the Elvis impersonator for fear of the Elvis Nation...that and I'm a member of the Elvis Fan Club.

From: Jeff "Tank" Tankersley
Date: 11/20/2008
[ Go Back ]

Well I am glad to see that Lanny loves to carefully leave out letters and whole words from my trash talk. Just like a blond-headed indin to take something that didn't belong to him...or was that us that took from his people? I guess that is what you get when you can Jew (I can say that) a whole race out of a continent and trade it for whiskey and a mirror. Badger, you're just jelous cause your dog loves me more, and my spell check works just fine.
I will be happy to come out and defend the honor that I have deserved for years, considering that I’m the only one that has EVER relly played football (Jeff, the circle jerks that you and your boyfriends had in high school, even though they were rough play, doesn’t count).
I am the Darth visor mastermind of Toilet Bowl lore, so it is only fitting that I have a game plan to secure it once more (MVP, that is),
Richie…..hummmm. Well I guess the old saying is true, “Those that cannot do, talk!” Thus, I guess that is why you have consistently won an award for talking a good game, but never…ever…ever…. backed it up…... I gues if it were a contest for conveying steal signs from first base, none of us could hold a candle to your skills, but this is actually a game that takes athletic ability, so you’re just S.O.L. An just an FYI, the poor sportsmanship outburst and the end of the game last year will be dealt with…..I remember, but don’t worry it will be quick and just hurt a little…well maybe a bit more than a little.

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Look, Poobah gets accused of a lot of things, but this is ridiculous. I received emails from "someone" and that "someone" had your name all over it. So forgive Poobah for not looking for the serial number on your arm to verify your existence. Nice spellcheck by the way.

Amazing what you find online.  Who knew?  Bichmond, I don't think this is going to help your business.....well at least realty.  Owned!
 
Kriticize

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Kriticize....I'm at a loss for words. You've done some lame-brain things in your life, but then you come back and TOTALLY redeem yourself!....Just kidding. This is by far the lamest trash-talk post ever. You've done nothing but give Richie fodder for his arsenal. You're better than this Chuckles.

Well, well, wel. If all my little cubcakes didnt decide to get a backbone. Since most of you are great with you mouthes I can tell you that I do most of my talkin on the field. Tha Thrill should change his name to trash cuz he hasnt done much in years except wheeze on the sideline while his prety young cousin toasted him. Big Momma needs a new name to but is there another name for a fatter woman? LOL! Chuck Neil please show up on gameday. I need a dark cloud to block the sun.

Get ready for th BLACK SHIRTS come game day and you littl punks better stay out of my way!

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Golf claps everyone...everyone.....another fine effort from our penny-pinching friend from up North. Believe me, college am good for Tank.

Glad to see the Toilet Bowl has signed a four-year, exclusive TV deal with the Weather Channel. This will bring the annual payout to both teams to about 58 cents apiece! Cesspool plans to use these funds on a new weight room. Have a great game; I'll be watching to see if any of my single game records will fall - yards rushing, pass completions, and ... check the "past scores" section for yourself - the most lopsided butt kicking in TB history! Rob McGlasson still hasn't cleaned those grass stains from off his back LOL. Scot Finley (The Academy Class of 81)

EDITOR'S NOTE:
While "the REAL Poobah" immensely respects his mentor, he cannot speak of the "game which shall not be mentioned". And yes, any money we can get, we'll take. In fact Chuck Neal is hosting a bikini car wash in Houston as we speak.

I would like to take this opportunity to officially announce my candidacy for the Trash Talk MVP. Now my statements maybe as insignificant as Ralph Nader is to a Presidential election, but like him, I must let my voice be heard.
With that said, I hate to mention Richie in this because I know that him being talked about only boosts his self-esteem. However, it doesn't take much to boost one's self-esteem when it starts out so low. Anyway, for those of you who try to act young again by having this new thing called Facebook, you may have already seen the pictures that Richie has posted on the Toiletbowl page. For those of you who have no idea what a book of faces is, Richie decided to anonymously (it's a big word, sound it out) post some pictures of Toiletbowl participants accompanied by some "witty" remarks. Here is the picture posted of me: 

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Poobah loves you too Wesley, and a fine first post that was. Poobah is impressed with the proclivity to use "big words". We at TBHQ realize that Cesspool and Quagmire are not universities to "learn good", but rather they are schools to "play good". We attempt to gradually inject the English language in baby steps. Nice pic by the way, you are well on your way to insignificance. Consider yourself under the protection of Poobah.

All this jibberish on here reminds Swill of sitting through a matinee showing of Slithis at the Village Cinema -- all hype, no substance. You girls give Swill a headache...You clowns are nothing but a bunch of thumb sucking, low expectation striving, 1976 LTD driving, boyfriend stealing, ACT cheating, purse clutching, Little Debbie eating, fireworks stand working, trash fish smelling, dirt clod throwing, camper shell living, bottled water drinking, corn cob in the outhouse using, cheap single beer in a paper bag buying, slot machine playing, cigarette bumming, No tag? No insurance? No problem? driving, bumper sticker that says, "Follow me to see Wooddale play" stuck on the station wagon, "Bill Clinton for Prez" T-shirt wearing, pocket knife toting, Phillip Fulmer loving, Tommy West loving, Willie Herenton voting, single cigarette buying, short bus riding, "no, I can't write a complete sentence because I got a Memphis Public School educashun," low IQ, high body odor, one-eye browed pieces of genetic flotsam and jetsam...

There now,...Swill feels better...Class dismissed...

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Wow. This has to be a record for the single-longest run-on sentence EVER with more pop-culture references to Parkway Village than I've ever seen. Somebody call Guinness!

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Once again Mr. Hill has made the mistake of sending email to TBHQ via his wife's email address...so once again we all can thank Jeff for a few days of trash talk material. Swill's 5 MVP's are questionable, but they did occur BP...or Before Poobah as it's known in the industry. It was before the days of luxurious regulation so who's to say who won the MVP? Anybody can. But my vote is for our resident psycho, Swill. It's either that or wake up with a Columbian necktie...

The other day, Jeff Hill requested my friendship on a certain social network. One that is predominately used by college students, and online predators. Since Jeff isn't a college student, I can only assume the latter. But that is neither here, nor there. I grudgingly accepted Jeff as a friend, with hopes that my cool college friends wouldn't notice.

With the recent debate on who wears the pants in Mr. and Mrs. Jeff "way too old to be calling myself Thrill/ I have a facebook" Hill. I thought it would only be right, considering I'm the only one that participates in the Toilet Bowl that has a legitimate shot of obtaining a college degree, thus meaning you will all work for me one day, thus making me the only one who has a legitimate reason for having a facebook account, for me to post a picture I found of the... ummm Thrills.

Does the argument need to go on any further?

Kim Hill For Athletic Prowess MVP in 2008.
Because we know her husband sucks.

Cody Willard
2005 Toilet Bowl Athletic Prowess MVP

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Cody, you've done TOO good of a job at the photoshopping. For this site you have to make it look terrible...remember, strive for insignificance.

Considering the great "poobah" decided to take it upon himself to post for me... I figure I need to drop a line of my own words, considering the poobah can't even hold my jockstrap (even though he has been asking for it since last year). I must admit, coming into last year, I expected some competition. For a game that has been around as long as this, one would think that the vets would actually get better?? If that is the best you can bring, I feel ashamed for all of you and your families. Mrs. Hill: If you could get open in the 2 seconds I had to read the coverage, you would have been the MVP... if.... About recalling your MVP award from a decade prior... Its 2008.... catch up. We won, keep doing whatever it was you were doing... Cesspool: pathetic... never going to win a game without getting into the endzone. You may want to consider finding a ringer at QB.. and WR... and O-line... well you get the point. Basically to have any chance at competing I suggest all of last year's team retire and bring in some new blood. Otherwise, its going to be the same ol story. Wabbit: "That MVP trophy is going to look nice on my mantle" Poobah: "You think you can duplicate that phenomenal performance again this year?" Wabbit: "Why not? Who's going to stop me? Richie??" Poobah: "Good point, Here is your MVP trophy" Wabbit: "Thanks, a year overdue...

EDITOR'S NOTE:
I have no idea what you are talking about Mr. Wabbit. That's slanderous to assume Poobah would post emails for you. The fact is that somebody probably should so none of us have to read this equivalent to third grade ebonics.

Just to let you ladies know, I'm taking down the MVP this year!!!

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Can you really criticize a statement like this? I mean, it's like trying to shoot back at the Cavity Creeps for saying "We Make Holes in Teeth"....Seriously, what do you say?

Well, well, well. Another year has come and gone. “Yes We DID! Yes We DID!” Swill’s proud of you ladies for helping to elect a real President… Poopbah, kudos to you, man, for all you do with this site and keeping this Thanksgiving Day tradition insignificant…And thanks for showing Swill’s first-born the love. Swill is certain his boy will shatter his old man’s record of five Toilet Bowl MVP titles… One slight suggestion, though – Swill proposes the renaming of the Cesspool Plungers to the Cesspool “Chicks” due to all the crying from those “guys”… On the subject of crying, did u say somethin Hill cuz Swill wasn’t listening… Will someone please knock Swill upside his head a few more times? Swill needs to practice crying so Swill can get on his "Tha Thrill" game face. That Allen Iverson bobble head on your dresser just keeps jigglin and jigglin and jigglin, don’t it? Such a mind-scrambling excuse maker you have become… Hey, Bendall…Swill bets you get lost staring at blank pieces of paper too…How dare you imply “The Most Insignificant Game Ever” even remotely consider plans to replace Scott Willard with, perhaps, a lump of clay… Dries and Cody, those burgers aren’t gonna flip themselves, so Swill will excuse y’all now…And make Swill’s super-sized… Swill threw a rock at a garbage can the other day. “Kriticize” popped up and yelled, "Who knocked?!” Finley…How’s your sister doing? Have a wonderful time in Texas… Tank, please tell Swill the rumor floating around down here that you and Scott Lee were Siegfried and Roy for Halloween is false. Still, that doesn’t top Swill hearing that Big Momma dressed up as the Indian from the Village People for one event and Liberace for another... Oh yeah, Big Momma… How many wrinkles are in a horse’s rear end? If you’ll shut up for a minute Swill will count them for you. Swill can hear your Trash Talk MVP acceptance speech now: "I would like to thank all the little people in my life -- like Little Debbie, Sara Lee and Betty Crocker.” Well, Swill sees the short bus turning the corner to collect you boys and girls. Class is now dismissed…

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Much love back to you Swill. I agree with you on many points of interest but one begs to ask the question: what are you talking about? You still have to appreciate that he's hitting everyone. He's lined you all up and walked very fast down the line with one hand up, smacking you all. Bow down to Swill.

First off, I just wanted everyone to know that the player solely responsible(for taking the punishment that is)for "THE BIG HIT" will be in attendance this year barring catastrophy. I am feeling a bit nicer today since I have almost recovered from my illness so....

Thank the Lord for Chuckles return to the game of the year, it's really not the same without you.

Tank, if calling me weak makes you feel more athletic and slim, by all means do it.

Bendall, I can't say anything about you good or bad, I just can't remember you playing at all.

I can't believe a posting without Big Momma on here, has he lost his edge/shape?

Poobah, can you get me on t.v?

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Why yes, I do believe I can get you on tv. Probably on one of those hapless VH1 reality shows for washed up athletes who wish to remain significant in the most insignificant game EVAH. You're right about Bendall though, he must've worn camoflauge that day because I can't seem to recall him being there unless I was on the ground, then he was there. What does that say?

Poobah, the claim that the MVP is yours this year is quite funny. I didn’t know you had a sense of humor, I figured your girlfriend took that when she took your backbone.
Perhaps, if you were the only one showing up you could win, but then again, you still probably couldn’t figure out how to vote for yourself. I heard you took an IQ test and it came back negative. I mean really, how do plan on winning? I’m surprised you even finish the game, when you spend half of the time on your back and the other half crying about…everything!

And to Josh Dries, do we really need to offer anymore short jokes? Surely in your almost 30 years of being 3’4”, you have heard them all. And honestly, there are so many other features about you that can be offered up to insult.
I would imagine that you spend most nights watching infomercials for “the hair club” hoping that they finally come up with a useful product that will grow enough hair on your oddly balding forehead that it takes away from people actually having to look at your face. And yes, you had quite an impressive debut in last years TB, but really, how many times do we have to hear about how you got screwed? I mean even Bret Hart quit crying after a few months.
Your useless crying are almost as lame as Poobah’s $3 hair cut and about as effective as UT football this season. You do however; have the ability to ramble senselessly like a room full of 12 year old girls, which ironically could probably all kick your butt.

Scott Lee? As Poobah’s “right hand”, and groupie, I figured you were just showing up to help Lanny wipe his butt. Did you play in last year’s TB? I thought I saw you there, but every time I looked up you were holding his hand. Wow, you are the true definition of insignificant!

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Bendall, Bendall, Bendover....I mean, you don't insult Poobah's hair. You just don't. You don't spit into the wind, you don't walk outside naked, and you don't EVER insult Poobah's hair. Just because you comb your hair with rocks gives you no right to talk about my luxurious hair. The fact that I was on the ground with you lends itself to your homosexual football style of play (aka HOLDING tightly onto any man that passes you). If Alice In Chains decided to regroup, you still wouldn't make the cut with that Captain Ahad beard of yours. And yes, Scott Lee does love me very much. I can't help that.

Every year da familia goes to TEXAS for Thanksgiving.............. Except this year, we will be there if not too cold kids too. We have kept in touch with Jeff Hill so me & Scrappy Doo should be makin'-a-seen. Keep updating .. Thnx Don't forget I'm the BIG HIT WONDER....

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Poobah forgot to post this one from a while back the BIG HIT Haney. Good to have you back out, and hopefully we can make a Big Hit 2 this year!

So in the grand scheme of things, I wonder if this award would even exist without me. The simple fact that every post has something to do with “Momma” is quite impressive. It is almost like you idiots want to take a shot at greatness. Take your shots….take them well because not one of you will measure up to “Mt. Trash more” (the shrine I have built for my greatness).

Charles Quay Neal, you weren’t at the game last year? Didn’t notice!

Tank…you take a breath not a breathe. Congrats on graduating from U of A though…I hope to graduate next year. Then I will be smart like you and take a “breathe”.

Josh Dries…aka…”little people big world”….what are you saying? The only thing that you did successfully last year was live in your brother’s shadow. He was faster, less gay and taller than you.  It’s like you forgot that HE was the one that could have won the MVP. Seriously, you should stop trying to build yourself up (you need a stack of phone books anyway) and lift up your brother. Between the two of you…you make half a man so that works right?

I did hear that you were going to bring your flag football team out to the game and try and pass them off in costume. Luckily I found this picture of you guys so now everyone knows.

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Nice Photoshop skills Richie. I think you may be a little cocky this year and think that this garbage can pass. Believe it or not, the ToiletBowl does have fine standards concerning work like this, and this picture is just as weak as Josh Dries' shortcomings.

Well, I'm glad Poobah took some time out from his busy schedule on the E! network.  You're much better than Greg Kinear.

 
Richie, I don't know when the fascination with me began, but I can hardly blame you.  I mean your fall from grace must have been hard to take.  I assume it began around 9 or so years ago when people stopped thinking you were cool when you finished every sentence with "that's what she said".  So let's get started separating the weak from the chafed, oh budda of booty.  This year our country's election was historic.  Either we would have had our first black president or our first female Vice President.  I believe I started this paradigm shift (look up the words before you continue, Bichmond Lane) when I stepped aside so Kim could claim the MVP.  At best, you finished 3rd.  While my single email ruined your holiday and your game, it would have been irresponsible to take the glory away from the CHICK that owned you. 
 
I originally planned on spending Thanksgiving in Dallas (evac due to hurricane Finley coming to Houston).  As a result, I had been working on a three hour verbal raping of Richie that was to be played during the game on the Toilet Bowl Sony JumboTranny (ironically named after Richie), but delivering this in person is much more satisfying.  Also, the game cannot survive two years in a row without me on the field. 
 
So make up all the words you want, whore yourself out on the Internet, whatever it is you do when you're not NOT selling houses...at the end of the day, you, I, and Kim all know your athletic and trash skills are gone.  Break out your Bedazzler and make a cute jersey for yourself because that's the only bright thing about your future in the TB this year.
 
Kriticize

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Hey...what am I doing on The Soup? Better yet, why are you watching the Soup and not the View? Other than your criticism of Poobah, I can't find a thing wrong with your post. It was almost as if Barrack Obama himself had written this thing.

Ya know, I decided to lay low through the first round of trash talk, just to see what kind of garbage would be spouted out of the mouths of morons. Well, "The Bendall" has decided that it was time to be heard.

Grand Master Poobah - You are wise & kind, but you are also old. Perhaps you would be better suited as a spectator this season. Perhaps you could join Scott Lee and make an insignificant game appearance.

Josh Dries - You were quite impressive in your Toiletbowl debut last year, but your 364 days crying & moaning trumps the one day last year you actually showed a little bit of athletic ability.

"Big Momma" Willard - Over the past year I have come to the conclusion that after hearing you cry about being attacked by everyone's trash talk, that I would use only one trash talk post on you.
So I have chosen to take my one opportunity to debate your statement: "I am in the best shape of my life. I am stronger, faster and prettier than I have ever been."
Yes, you are in shape- if doughy & pudgy are considered shapes...
stronger- only because all man-made deodorants have become immune to your hideous body odor...
faster- you have the speed of a glacier, and that is a major improvement from last year...
prettier- wearing your wife's clothes doesn't make you prettier, only questions your sexuality more..

And in closing, Scott Willard, you came out of "retirement" last year only to get your butt handed to you my expense, perhaps you should join Billy and referee, because you obviously are out of your league now!
If your were a racehorse, you would have been shot and made into glue.

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Poobah may be wise and kind, but at least Poobah knows how to type in complete sentences so the general public doesn't think "Frankenstein" wrote it. "Learning good" comes with old age, so do proper shaving habits. There's no room for a fat version of Gandolph the Gray in the ToiletBowl.

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Wittle Wabbit...classic. Josh Dries now has a new nickname!

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Thank God Tank is back. The boards just weren't the same without you.

Let me clear one thing up: I should have been last year's MVP if it weren't for some lame rule from "wise" Poobah. And I never cared about the Trash Talk MVP award anyway. Who wants a cardboard trophy for being able to run your mouth?

What are you going to come back with? Short jokes? I thought you would. Keep in mind that this "5 foot nothing" ran ALL OVER you out-of-shape wusses last year. Count me in as the MVP this year.

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Wise Poobah has many rules to unleash on you, Short Round. For instance, I can setup a stand (like they use at amusement parks) and keep you from coming on the adult rides...but I'm sure you're already familiar with adult rides.

Alas, I will be in Houston, Texas this Thanksgiving but already my heart and mind are turning to the first bowl game of this football season. And, alas, it appears that neither Cesspool or Quagmire will be invited to one of the BCS bowls where they belong but will yet again be matched in the most insignificant of bowls, the one with the least payout and smallest television audience. Lace em up gentlemen! I'll be watching!

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Great Poobah the 1st, you will be missed. Maybe this year the real Poobah can let his hair down and not have to work under judging eyes.

Tank wins the MVP? Did everyone miss the game last year and feel sorry for Cartman?

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Tru' dat. "Defensive genius"? I think not.

Well, well, well...as I sit here and watch the sun glare off of the 4 trophies sitting in my window...I am reminded of how these trophies came to be. I have spent countless hours talking about the trials and tribulations of one Charles Quay Neal only to realize that I have won many a trophy on his back. So heres to you Mr. unathletic trash talk muse guy....without you...we would never have enough material to have an award. Your level of pathetisicism (thats a word now) has actually raised the level of what the hobo's on trains think that they can do. So step up and claim your award....Because no one else does "pathetic" like you! THere will be more trash flowing...this is the warm up, stretches if you will. I am in the best shape of my life. I am stronger, faster and prettier than I have ever been . This year....the MVP is mine. No one can or will stand in my way!

EDITOR'S NOTE:
I think I'm going to bring in a 3rd party to run the game this year so I can at least attempt to dethrown Richie since none of you panzies will do anything about it. If I had a time machine I would never have created this darn-fangled Trash Talk award.

It pains me, I mean really pains me to have to list Kim Hill as the Trash Talk MVP. No disrespect towards Kim but she posted ONE EMAIL...by mistake and won this award. My brother, the reigning 4-time champ refused to take it again. Chuck Neal runs away and hides from Richie and last year could have been his year. At least these tricks try to talk. I mean, do none of you have anything to say? Don't make Poobah go and win his own award. It would be embarrassing.

You floppy-cheeked has-beens might want to take offense that Jeff Hill's wife won the award, and she's not even a player. Sure she could beat you at Halo, but come on!

The ones I'm disappointed in:

Cody Willard: you run your mouth non-stop but refuse to do it here. Don't worry, I'll do it for you.
Jacob Willer: Jake, can you not work a computer?
Chad Deaton: Geez, can anyone else claim to the the "best of the best" and still not perfrom?
Jeff Tankersley: Just because you can't type doesn't mean you can't talk trash.
Jeff Hill: Please, do men all over the world a favor and type one more email than your wife does.
Chuck Neal: Please finish what you started.
Josh and Jacob Dries: You don't get a free ride into the game and then not participate. I expect big things from you two.
Clay Jones: Golf clubs are one thing, Poobah's fury at you not being able to operate a keyboard are another.
Jason Bendall: Love-child of the Swedish Chef and Molly Hatchet....keep it coming.
Ken Wilbanks: Please teach Mason that the computer is OK to use. If he can now play, show him the way of the meandering sentence.
Richie Willard: Mr. "Let's just give up"...ugh...I can't believe you won the 4 years before and I believe the only reason you did is because I have to set these out. It's not really fair for Poobah to win his own award. So please, attack somebody.

If your name is not on here you aren't worthy of the poo on the bottom of my shoe. Years from now I'll walk the fields of Powell Road and stop to look at the foreign substance that's logged underneath my walker. I'll lean down to see a sticky mess of dried dookie and bubblegum and think, "that reminds me of IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS BECAUSE YOU ARE INSIGNIFICANT!!! The fact that I've forgotten your name is testament to the fact that you truly are insignificant and have failed to make Poobah notice you. If ever there was a time to win a cardboard trophy spray painted gold, now is the time to step up. It's not like you've done anything else with your life.